California Bar Releases February 2012 Results

Online Law School Talks About Campus Life

California School of Law has a section discussion campus life. That’s interesting since the campus is a space in front of your computer. Get your own beer!

jlk

A No Brainer!

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be . . . → Read More: A No Brainer!

Urine in my heart, forever.

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh?

Honorifics

Q. What do you call an attorney with a 60 IQ? A. Your Honor.

Ah, would you wait just a second, please…

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

No, not Roberts!

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral.

Where do you bury the survivors?

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

…or are you just ugly?

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Percipient Witness?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

Marriage terminated by…

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?